Grief Is the Price We Pay for Love: Understanding and Embracing Loss
Why Grief Can Feel Stronger Over Time
This past Mother’s Day, during a grief workshop I facilitated, a participant shared, “My grief seems to get harder to manage year after year.”
Even after grieving my mother’s death for more than 15 years, I still find myself searching for the right words when others express this truth. Many people expect grief to fade, but what I’ve learned—as both a therapist and someone living with loss—is that grief doesn’t simply go away. It shifts and changes with us.
How Life Transitions Stir Up Grief
Many participants in these grief support groups share that their grief resurfaces during big life transitions: graduating college, getting married, moving, starting a new job, or becoming a parent.
Sometimes grief shows up in quieter moments—like a random Tuesday over lunch, when a memory suddenly surfaces. This unpredictability can make grief feel endless, but it’s actually a reflection of how deeply we’ve loved.
Why Grief Is the Price of Love
We often try to push grief away, fearing it will overwhelm us. But what I’ve learned through my work with clients—and in my own healing—is that grief is the price we pay for love.
You can’t experience grief without first having known love, connection, and understanding—all things we long for. To know love deeply is also to know grief deeply.
Choosing How We Respond to Grief
We cannot control or stop grief from arriving. But we can decide how we respond—whether we push it away or learn to sit with it. This is where healing begins
Journaling Prompts for Embracing Grief
Here are some prompts to help you build a deeper relationship with your grief.
As you reflect, notice the sensations in your body:
Can I imagine accepting my emotions just as they are?
Can I allow myself to feel grief without fear, letting it in instead of pushing it away?
What would it feel like to befriend my grief instead of resisting it?
How does my grief feel in my body? What shape, color, texture, or location does it have?
If my grief could speak, what would it say to me?
How can I respond to my grief in a way that makes it feel heard and acknowledged?
Finding Support in Grief Therapy
Exploring these questions can help you create a gentler, more compassionate relationship with grief. But sometimes, we need extra support.
If you’re struggling with grief, you don’t have to face it alone. Working with a grief therapist can give you tools, structure, and connection as you navigate the holidays, life transitions, or everyday moments of loss.
If you’re seeking grief therapy in Rhinebeck, the Hudson Valley or New York, or want to learn more about my grief support groups, reach out here.
